Ow, My Back: The Gift Guide for People Who Were Born in the 1900s and Are Doing Fine, Actually
There is a certain kind of person who woke up one day and discovered that their back hurt for no reason, that "sleeping wrong" is now a thing that happens to them, and that they have developed strong opinions about the correct temperature for a room. This guide is for that person. They deserve acknowledgment. They deserve gifts. And they deserve to be told, in a variety of formats, that getting old is actually goth as hell.
The Fridge Magnet Situation
As Soon As This Heating Pad Eases The Pain in My Back and The Ibuprofen Kicks In Fridge Magnet — $5.95
This magnet has 12 five-star reviews, which tells you everything you need to know about how many people this describes with painful accuracy. The heating pad is on. The ibuprofen is working. Stand by.
Welcome To Middle-Age: Your Joints Are Now Meteorologists Magnet — $5.95
A perfectly accurate description of middle age. You no longer need the weather app. Your knees are the weather app.
I Enjoy Telling The Young Folk I Was Born Back in the 1900's Fridge Magnet — $5.95
For the person who has discovered that saying "I was born in the 1900s" to young people produces a deeply satisfying reaction.
One Day You're Young and Cool Magnet — $5.95
The complete sentence finishes itself, and it finishes correctly. A magnet that speaks the truth with appropriate resignation.
The Older I Get I Realize My Mom Was Right, But I Just Didn't Like Her Tone Magnet — $5.95
She was right. The tone, however, remains the sticking point. This is the nuance.
The Cards
Please Be Patient with Me, I'm from the 1900's Card — $5.95
An excellent birthday card for anyone born before the year 2000 who is doing their best with a world that keeps updating its interface without asking.
Look Who's Grown Up! Ready for a Colonoscopy Birthday Card — $5.95
A milestone birthday card for the milestone birthday. Thoughtful. Medically relevant. Exactly the kind of card that makes the recipient laugh and then feel seen.
Hotflash Dance Funny Menopause Card — $5.95
An '80s-inspired menopause card that treats the subject with the humor it deserves. The world keeps spinning; the hot flashes keep coming; we might as well dance.
Fuck You for Being Younger and Hotter Greeting Card — $5.95
An honest card for someone you love and whose youth you resent in the most affectionate way possible.
The GetBullish "Born in the 1900s" Collection
Born in the 1900s Accent Coffee Mug — $17.95
An 11oz accent mug that announces the drinker's birth century with pride. For the morning coffee ritual of a person who has earned every one of their years.
Born in the 1900s Enamel Pin — $8.95
A triangular enamel pin with '80s vibes. A great jacket pin, a great hat pin, a great way to start a conversation with a 24-year-old.
Born in the 1900s Crewneck Sweatshirt — $39.99
A unisex crewneck in sizes SM–5XL. Soft, cozy, available in plus sizes. For when you want everyone in the room to know the context.
The Accessories
Be Patient With Me, I'm From the 1900s Trucker Hat — $11.95
Be Kind Please Rewind VHS Hair Claw — $11.95
A claw clip shaped like a VHS tape, with a velvet travel bag. For the person who has deeply felt opinions about Blockbuster.
I Was Cooler in the 90's Troll Doll Enamel Pin — $12.95
A hard enamel troll doll pin for the person who peaked in the '90s and is fully at peace with that.
Everything Hurts and I'm Doing Fine
Getting Old is Goth as Hell Tee — $33.95
A vintage skull tattoo-style tee that reframes aging as the extremely goth enterprise it actually is. Because what is more heavy metal than the relentless passage of time?
Everything Hurts and I'm Dying Pill Box — $14.95
A handmade 2.25" round pill case with retro pinup art. Because your pill situation has escalated and it might as well be housed in something charming.
Everything Hurts And I'm Dying Gym Crew Socks — $14.95
Unisex gym crew socks that state the situation clearly. For working out despite everything, which is honestly more impressive than working out when nothing hurts.
Feeling Pretty Good for My Age Medieval Peasant Mug — $17.95
A medieval peasant who is, objectively, feeling pretty good for their age. A mug that reframes every ache as a triumph of survival. Historically speaking, things are going extremely well.
See the full collection at Ow, My Back Hurts at GetBullish. You've earned every single one of these years.