For the Olive Girlies: A Gift Guide for the Dirty Martini Aesthetic
The olive has had an interesting trajectory. It started as a briny, polarizing food that children rejected on sight. Then it became shorthand for sophistication — the thing you put in a martini to signal that you are a person of taste and mild menace. Then it became an aesthetic: the olive girlie, the dirty martini era, the Mediterranean summer that exists as a mood even if you've never left your apartment.
The olive's reputation was built on contradiction. It tastes like something that's been preserved in something else for a very long time, and this is exactly what makes it appealing. The martini olive in particular — brined, skewered, dropped into cold gin — is an accessory as much as it is an ingredient. The three-olive rule (always odd, never even, for reasons that are superstition but feel like law) is the kind of thing an olive girlie knows and enforces without being asked.
This guide is for her. All of it is very green.
Wear It
Martini Olive Acrylic Hair Claw Clip — $7.95
Three green olives on a pick, rendered in acrylic, doing actual hair-clip work. For the person whose accessories commit to a bit. By SoapElenGlen. Brand new.
Coquette Olive Earrings — Handmade — $18.95
Handmade olive earrings with a coquette sensibility — green, dangling, the kind of thing you explain exactly once and then everyone wants a pair. Only 3 left.
Carry It
Olive Keychain — Marbled Acetate Green Olive with Gold Clasp — $12.95
A single green olive in marbled acetate with a gold clasp. For the person whose keys should announce something about them. By A Shop of Things.
Martini Lover Three Olives Handbag or Keyholder Charm — $12.95
Three olives on a pick — the superstition-compliant number — as a bag or key charm. An unspoken rule about martinis says an even number of olives is bad luck. Gin drinkers take this seriously. By Paper & Quartz.
Desk It
Olive Squishy Pen — Ballpoint with Squeeze Olive Topper — $8.95
A ballpoint pen with a soft, squeezable olive on top. It writes in black ink. The olive is satisfying to press during meetings. The olive has no other purpose and needs none. By NPW.
Green Martini Olive Wide-Tooth Mini Comb — $14.95
A pocket-sized wide-tooth comb in martini olive green. Detangles, refreshes curls, fits in a bag. For the hair accessory that can also order a drink. By Living Royal.
Home It
Fig & Olive Bistro Tin Candle — 4.5oz Two-Wick, Mediterranean Garden Scent — $18.95
A 4.5oz two-wick candle in a bistro tin, scented with fig and olive — Mediterranean garden, the kind of place where lunch takes three hours and no one has anywhere to be. The fig gives it sweetness; the olive keeps it earthy and a little savory. Paddywax makes excellent candles and this one earns its place on any surface it touches. New.
Set of 4 Pimento Olive Coasters — Eco-Friendly Wood Pulp — $7.95
Four eco-friendly wood pulp coasters printed with pimento olives — the stuffed ones, which are the correct ones for a dirty martini and also for a charcuterie board and also just for existing. For the coffee table that should be able to host a martini without a crisis.
Ultrasoft Martini Rug — 30" x 20" — $34.95
A slip-resistant 30" x 20" pink bathroom or entryway rug printed with a martini glass. Ultrasoft, machine washable, the kind of rug that immediately tells guests everything about you. By A Shop of Things.
The Extras
Martini Air Freshener in Olive Scent — $6.95
A martini glass–shaped olive-scented air freshener for the car or room. If the olive girlie's car is going to smell like anything, it should smell like this. By A Shop of Things.
Bathtub Gin Exfoliating Mini Soap — Woodsy Fresh Scent, 2oz — $5.50
A 2oz exfoliating bar soap made with olive oil, woodsy fresh scent — the dirty martini as skincare, which is either completely logical or completely unhinged depending on your relationship with gin. By Unemployed Philosophers Guild. Only one left, which makes it the most exclusive thing in this guide.
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